Changing Your Personal Reality - Part 2

Leading presenter, writer and educator in the areas of high-performance, self-management, personal transformation and more Read full profile

Fourth dimension to Make Waves

In function one of this mail we discussed the tendency some of united states have to permit situations, circumstances, events and even other people to control our lives; in essence, giving away our power in an attempt to be accustomed, valued, appreciated and loved. By trying to "fit in and not make waves" (as someone shared with me recently) it seems that some of united states of america have lost our identity and sense of cocky. The good news is that we tin take back control of our life and still exist that kind, generous and thoughtful person – who also happens to be strong, confident, assertive, productive, successful and powerful. And no, we don't need to compromise our beliefs, goals, character or core values to do then. In fact, taking back our ability can exist the most important footstep towards living a life of truthful purpose, alignment (with our core values), integrity and joy.

While the following strategies are very effective, they are not always comfy or easy to implement, so it'south a good thing that you and I are all about doing what works – non what'south easy! Non every indicate volition be relevant for every person, so see what resonates for you. Likewise exist warned that I may be a little… er… blunt in places (surprising I know), so if you're feeling a bit presh you may wanna read from behind a absorber (similar in a scary movie). Savour.

one. Terminate looking for easy and start "doing" effective.

Today. All too oftentimes our desire to live a comfortable, painless, like shooting fish in a barrel and safe beingness (all things driven past fearfulness) is the very thing that kills our potential, our productivity, our ability to develop and ultimately, our spirit. Information technology is no coincidence that we (the guild) have both (1) a widespread aversion to anything that makes u.s.a. uncomfortable and (ii) a high percentage of people who regularly feel frustrated, unfulfilled, lost and miserable. Ironically, it is our aversion to working against resistance that stops u.s.a. from growing, learning, evolving and adapting. Sometimes (in the moment) we believe it's simply easier to just "fit in", to compromise and to seize with teeth our tongue. While this is understandable on occasion, over the long term this kind of behaviour and thinking will set usa upward for unhealthy relationships, stagnation, disconnection, frustration, desperation and misery. In order to take back your power you volition need to be mettlesome (that'southward a selection by the way), you volition demand to exist prepared to become uncomfortable (that's where you learn, grow and adapt) and you volition demand to do things that may piss other people off – perhaps the ones who previously pulled your strings for their ain proceeds.

ii. Confront your fears.

You lot tin never accept back your power until you confront the things that scare y'all. By the way, beingness fearful does not represent weakness but rather humanity.

"Prove me the person who fears nothing and I'll show you an idiot."

*There'due south as well an statement that the person who fears nix might also be the person who has reached enlightenment… but that's a discussion for some other day.

If things just take the power and influence that we assign them (and they do), then fear is something we can control and use for our own personal development. For the well-nigh role fright is a completely personal thing. It'south not about the situation, circumstance or environs but rather United states in it; how we react to, process, cope with and interpret the events in our world. That'due south why we can encounter two people doing the exact same thing at the aforementioned fourth dimension (a bungee jump for example); 1 is excited and having a nifty time, while the other is terrified and having the worst time ever. That's because it own't about the spring; information technology'due south about the jumper. Keeping in mind that each jumper creates his or her own reality. Of course there are healthy fears – non wanting to swim with a shark for example – only what we're talking about here are those destructive and unhealthy fears that have been known to brand people prisoners of their own mind. For a lifetime.

iii. When prissy isn't. (Nice)

Seek to be strong not nice. Too many nice people get chewed upwardly and spat out because all they have is a bunch of "nice-ness" and zero personal power. Sometimes nice-ness is really a euphemism for weakness and far too often our need to be seen equally the "dainty person" (oh please) is what brings united states of america undone. Endeavouring to keep everyone in your world happy is an exercise in futility, frustration and exhaustion. And stupidity. In brusque, it can't be done. Information technology'due south non your chore to "make" people happy; it'due south your job to exist you. And not the "yous" that people desire yous to exist, just rather, your authentic self. The 1 who has clarity, certainty, contentment and calm about who and what they are. And no, being you does non mean existence selfish.

4. Terminate beingness a victim.

The world isn't off-white. The majority don't intendance about you or your problems. Shit happens. Bad things happen to good people. And lots of people are selfish and nasty. In that location; nosotros've cleared that up. Now, terminate seeking pity, attention and sympathy and get on with information technology. Stop having the same pointless discussions nearly the aforementioned issues, stop waiting to be "saved" and cease giving away your power. You don't need universal blessing, credence or endorsement, yous need a dissimilar attitude.

5. Win respect through your actions.

Talk less, do more. What you practise will tell the rest of usa far more about who you are than any words that might come up out of your mouth. Words are cheap and often meaningless. Most large talkers are simply that. And cypher more.

6. Proceed re-inventing yourself.

Being stagnant and inflexible in a dynamic world is a certain-burn down mode to become redundant, unnecessary and powerless. While your cadre values, beliefs and standards might remain constant, it is important that you go on to conform, learn, grow and develop with your ever-irresolute globe.

vii. Value yourself.

Cease treating others as though they are of greater worth than you. Nobody is more of import than anyone else. And nobody is more than of import than y'all. Nobody. This is not about having a massive ego or being self-righteous; information technology'south nearly stopping all the self-sabotage. You know what I hateful. It's about not rationalising mediocrity and failure whatsoever more than. Information technology'south about changing your standards and your thinking. It'southward most not letting your poor cocky-esteem arrive the fashion of your potential and your possibilities. It's virtually non letting your past become your future. In example you don't know or you lot haven't been told, I volition tell you lot now; you are worthy, you are talented, you are good enough and yous are powerful. More than than y'all know. If you lot don't believe those words then you don't value yourself as you should.

*By the way, power and humility can go comfortably manus in hand.

8. Fiercely protect your make.

Don't associate with people, organisations, situations or products that will damage your reputation. In the professional person world (where many of u.s.a. spend a groovy deal of our lives) your brand is your ability. The stronger your brand, the more power you have (in that world). Prospective employers, potential business assembly and customers will all "buy what yous're selling" based largely (if non solely) on their perception of you; your product, your service, your power, your skill, your integrity and your value to them.

The Last Bit

I know that in my concluding mail I said I'd be sharing ten strategies but I concluded up amalgamating some of the points, so that'south why nosotros've ended up with eight. I'm not brusk-changing you… honest! Promise this installment has been of some value to you. As ever. I would appreciate your feedback on this post. The comments are of import to me as it gives me some insight into the kinds of areas that you lot want me to explore… so don't be a stranger. Fifty-fifty you chronic Lurkers. Go out a comment beneath.

pendergrasswrife1945.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/changing-your-personal-reality-part-2.html